If I Could Be a Superhero

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of superhero I would want to be.

I like Batman’s ability to accessorize, and his money, obviously. But at the end of the day, pretty lame on the super-powers front.

Superman is pretty awesome, the flight, x-ray vision, super-hearing, super breath, really the list goes on and on. The man’s got a serious arsenal of superpowers. Unfortunately the whole Kryptonite allergy really gives him my stamp of disapproval. Seriously! Isn’t that what his home planet was made of? Was he like Tiny Tim all the time at home? Because seriously, he gets knocked the @*#$ out every time it’s near him. So, sorry Superman, that’s a no.

The Incredible Hulk? Please.

Spiderman is alright but I imagine I would get tired of cleaning up the whole sticky web thing after a while. Plus I’m pretty arachnaphobic, which means I wouldn’t let a spider, radioactive or not, bite me.

As far as Aquaman is concerned, all the bad guys really need to do is set up base camp in like, the middle of the desert and Aquaman’s powerless to stop them. Lame.

There are a ton more that I could go through, finding awesome advantages and obvious faults, but instead I think I’ll talk about what it says about me that I spend so much time thinking about what kind of superhero I would want to be.

Of course I’m drawn to the idea of having powers, because realistically, who isn’t? But I think I wish I had them because I feel the skill sets I’ve acquired over the years are just so… ordinary. Everyday skills, which lead me to dream about having extraordinary talents to really set me apart. That of course says that I want to be set apart, well recognized, liked. I also enjoy the idea of having a clear, black and white purpose. Me good + you bad = me must crush you. Having something important and cut-and-dry to put my energy into seems like something really important to me. I think that comes from all the grey-areas in my life. I want an important battle to fight, I don’t want to feel like I’m struggling to achieve mediocrity.

I think these are reasons that America has a lot of success with superheroes, I feel like a lot of people can relate to me in my desire to be a superhero, instantly making heroes both inaccessible and desirable. Also I just really wish I could fly, or blow things up with my mind.